


Dysfunctional (But Functional)

by Lidsworth



Series: Dysfunctional (But Functional) [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Instability, Shironeki - Freeform, anemic, detective Hide, protective Kaneki, shironeki being a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3116708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hide's detective hobby begins to eat away at his personal health, Kaneki takes it upon himself to draw a fine line between a hobby and an obsession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dysfunctional (But Functional)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reposting it because I wanted to make it longer. as usual, it was beta'd by me.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own TG.

 

 

Kaneki cursed his negligence to keep up with Hide's eating schedule. Though with the intelligence Hide manged to store up in his huge head, Kaneki assumed that he would've had the sense to remind himself that he was getting hungry. Biologically, he should have felt his stomach growling, should have felt his fingers tingling as dehydration nipped at the stray limps. He should have noticed that he was getting incredibly light headed....not to mention, damn nauseous.

 

But no, of course Hide didn't notice that his body was completely failing on him.

 

Instead, he insisted that he and Kaneki go visit the vacant area where some of Tokyo's most gruesome ghoul attacks had taken place earlier that week (because Hide swore to Kaneki that he'd be able to catch the culprit a lot faster than the CCG), and built some sort of flimsy investigation there.

 

“Listen up Kaneki, we'll go to the alley at night, because that's when the other ghouls involved will most likely be there—sorry if I’m offending you—I wouldn't be surprised if they visited again. You know, because that's like a “hot spot” I guess,” Hide had told him (after he so stupidly agreed to accompany his friend to the area) as he put on a change of clothing.

 

Then, Kaneki had noticed how thin Hide gotten, but he hadn't made it a point to say anything.

  
Hide had spent hours investigating the area, taking samples from the amber stained stone, sniffing the iron that hung in the damp air, jumping at any noise that tingled around them (Kaneki's kagune was ready to mutilate anyone who hurt Hide), and just playing plain detective.

 

Kankei heard his stomach growl loudly, and with the image of his bony body fresh in his mind, he decided to speak up.

“Hey, Hide,” the white haired ghoul walked over this his friend who knelt down above a puddle of blood, trailing his finger in the stain, “Wh-”

“Shh!” Hide put a finger up, the one covered in blood, “Taste it, is it human, or-”

 

The white haired ghoul sighed.  
  
“Hide, cut it out,” Kaneki could practically smell the exhaustion on Hide, “I'm not playing along with your games now. We need to go out and eat, you need to go out and eat,” Hissed the ghoul, “We'll come back later.”  
  
Hide stood to his full height (which had shrunk in comparison to Kaneki's as of recent, much to Hide's dismay), “It's not a game, first of all. And when do you want to come back? When the CCG's cleaned this place up? This is a _fresh_ attack, Kaneki!”   
  
Kaneki's eyebrow twitched, “When was the last time you ate?” 

 

Hide looked slightly taken aback, “...I...”   
  
“Right,” Kaneki grabbed his friend by the wrist, “We're going eating.” 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Perhaps his time as ghoul dulled his understanding of humans, and what exactly constitute a full meal. Because at the moment, he didn't find anything wrong with Hide ordering the bare minimum on the menu. 

 

Eating to him was eating, even a tiny bit of food was enough to fill a hungry ghoul. Meat was meat, no matter the state, no matter the taste. 

 

He was an idiot for applying the logic to Hide. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  


Hide's investigation continued for the following week. And Kaneki had figured that he was eating every single day. Only, Hide wasn't. He just learned how to hide his exhaustion.

Hide had spent too much of his time connecting the dots regarding this case he'd obsessed himself with. 

 

He was to busy purchasing tiny voice recorders that were the size of a peanuts, too busy running his samples through labs and searching Tokyo's data bases for matches in DNA. 

 

Eating would just have to wait.

 

“Hide, how are you even affording this?” Kaneki asked shortly after dragging a box of clip on voice recorders into their apartment. 

Hide walked over with a smirk, bending down and grabbing the other side of the box. He dragged it, “I have my ways.”   
  
Kaneki looked at his arms as he said that, and noticed a fair amount of blue dots on the pale skin. He remembered seeing them on someone in the hospital, after his attack by Rize. 

 

They were donating blood for money.  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

That night wasn't the first time Hide and Kaneki found themselves making a small hospital room their sleeping quarters. Hide had crashed a day after he discovered Kaneki's whereabouts, though they'd gotten him to the hospital fast enough to save him from something tragic. 

Today, they weren't so lucky. 

 

Kaneki had found Hide passed out on their bedroom floor, and when he finally managed to wake him up, he couldn't even stand properly. 

 

Hide had been diagnosed with severe anemia, and as Kaneki had guessed, a strong case of malnutrition. And he was dehydrated, and very,  _very underweight._

 

The doctors had been pumping him with fluids throughout the entire evening, and prescribed him with bed rest for the next week. Not that Hide was awake to hear anything they'd advised him and advised him against (much to Kankei's annoyance). 

 

“And no more blood donations,” the doctor had spoken as he took his leave, “I think last months batch was it for him.” 

 

Kaneki nodded as if he understood what exactly the doctor was speaking about. Though he only had slight speculations that Hide was abusing his body like that. Ever fiber of him wanted to believe that it wasn't true, that perhaps Hide had contracted a major case of the flu, and had to receive shots for the virus. 

 

But apparently, that wasn't the case. Hide was using his body as a means to receive money for his detective gear. 

 

Kaneki was repulsed at Hide's actions, and ashamed at his own ignorance. 

 

They also suggested that Hide may have had an eating disorder, which being a ghoul, Kaneki wasn't all too familiar with (he hadn't really thought about it when he was human), but he'd seen the images associated with them.

 

In all honesty, he was terrified for Hide.

 

He could only think of his gentle mother, and how her passion to help everyone but herself won her an early grave. Hide was incredibly thin, severely dehydrated, anemic and unconscience, in other words, very corpse like. His passion was killing him. 

 

But Kaneki tried to remind himself that he was in control this time. That now, he was well aware of what was happening to Hide, he could help. But the thought of losing Hide all over again was enough to make Kaneki sick. He felt chills erupting all over his body at the idea of walking down a isle of dark clad spectators, and peering into the orange casket of his best friend. Would he be smiling in his coffin? Would his headphones be wrapped around his heck? 

 

It terrified him. And he could hardly shake the image out of his head. 

 

_You're not losing Hide,_ the ghoul leaned forward, and kissed his sleeping friend a top of his head,  _you can save him._

 

“I'll save you,” whispered the ghoul, though the severity of his promise reminded him of Rize's insanity when it came to her food, “You won't leave me alone.” 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

 

Kaneki knew well enough to stay away from his phone that night. It had been a mistake to text Touka, and tell her what had happened to Hide. 

 

_Idiot Kaneki! You didn't notice..._ Had been the header of most of the text messages that Touka had sent to Kaneki that evening. She could relate, do to her close relationship with Yoriko. There was no doubt that Touka was pissed. 

 

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Kaneki had taken Hide home that morning, and though he was incredibly groggy, and disoriented, the couple managed to make it to the back of a cab, and Hide managed to survive the bumpy car ride without barfing all over himself and Kaneki. 

 

But the same couldn't be said for their living room. The moment that the two had stepped over the threshold and into their apartment, Hide spilled his guts all over the floor. The doctor told Kaneki that Hide would be experiencing a little bit of nausea still...though Kaneki begged to differ. 

 

It seemed like he was suffering from motion sickness.

 

After cleaning him up, and carrying Hide to the bedroom, Kaneki went to the kitchen, boiled some white rice atop of the stove. The doctor recommended small portions of relatively bland foods in order get Hide's health back up.

 

Though part of Kaneki wondered how Hide's body would react to something so solid. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
He brought a tiny bowl of soup into their room that morning, and tried to walk in with some sort of smile. Hide was smaller than Kaneki last remembered him. It looked as if the sheets on their bed were swallowing him up. Against the white sheets, Hide looked almost paler in comparison. 

 

It unnerved Kaneki. 

 

Hide's eyes were closed as he leaned up against the wall behind the bed, his breathing was even and steady, and he kneaded his fingers together. Kaneki cleared his throat. 

“Oh, hey man,” Hide's eyes opened quickly, and he turned towards the ghoul at the door, “I gave you a scare last night, huh?”  
Kaneki didn't have time for jokes, “You need to eat something.” Kaneki soon found himself sitting on the bed, beside Hide, mixing the contents from the bottom of the soup and holding up a spoon full of steaming liquid and vegetables to Hide's mouth. 

 

“Aren't you gonna blow in it for me-”  
Kaneki took that moment as a golden opportunity to stuff the soup into Hide's mouth. The blond yelped, but closed his lips around the spoon. Kaneki smirked. 

 

“You're enjoying this,” Hide whined, after he swallowed down the soup, “aren't you.”  
“More than you should,” Kaneki mixed the soup, and scooped up another spoonful, “The doctor said you may have an eating disorder.” 

 

Hide rose an eyebrow, “Me? An eating disord-”  
Another spoonful of steaming soup found its way into Hide's mouth, “Ow! Kaneki that hurts!” Kaneki however, had had it with Hide's idoicity and disregard for himself. 

“We wouldn't be in this situation if you took care of yourself,” Grumbled the ghoul, as he placed the soup on the nightstand. 

 

Hide crossed his arms and squinted his eyes , “S this is _my_ fault now?”   
Kaneki's own eyes widened in disbelief, “Well it certainly isn't mine! Who's the one who didn't notice he was getting hungry? Who was too busy “investigating”?”  
  
“I ate-”  
“A piece of bread in the middle of the week, Hide,” Kaneki deadpanned, “That's not enough to sustain a human.” 

 

“It was just an accident,” Hide sounded incredibly small, “Next time-'   
  
Kaneki held his and up, thus effectively silencing Hide, “There's not going to be a 'next time' Hide, because this isn't the first time you've done this to yourself. That time when you found me with the ghouls...I was happy because you were looking for me. I thought you were angry at me for disconnecting with you, but you weren't at all. You were always looking for me...but when you found me, you were in such terrible shape, ” Kaneki took a deep breath, and continued, “Your hobby is killing you, Hide. And not to mention, it's just plain dangerous.”  
  
“In general, ghouls aren't safe to be around. You're risking your life for the thrill. Putting tracking devices on ghouls isn't okay. Putting yourself in harms way isn't okay. I'm not supporting this lifestyle of yours, not anymore.” 

 

For once in his life, Hide looked incredibly angry, and very hurt. Kaneki didn't care though. If Hide wanted to act difficult, he could. But Kaneki was tired of this, and wasn't risking Hide's life. 

 

“So what are you saying? ” Hide said silently, as he locked gazes with his boyfriend. 

 

“I'm saying you're going back to school, Hide,” Kaneki brought a hand to Hide's face, and ran his finger along Hide's smooth jawline, “No more of these investigations, in fact, I'm returning those tracking devices you ordered-”  


“You can't do that!” Hide cried, “I-”  
Kaneki silenced Hide with a soft kiss to his chapped lips, and a hand to the back of his head. 

 

“You can't stop me, you're too weak to even leave the apartment” he smirked as he pulled away, “besides, this is getting out of control, anyway.”  
“That's not fair,” Hide was at his wits end by now, unable to really move or persuade Kaneki, all he could do was complain“I bought that with my own money.”  
“Money you'll be getting back,” Kaneki stood, “and besides, this is the only way to get you to understand.” 

 

Hide nearly pulled his hair out, “Kaneki! Please, I'll watch my health next time!” 

 

“Hide!” Kaneki's voice cut through the tension like a fiery knife, “There will be no next time. You're anemic and you may have an eating disorder, and you expect me to let you continue to kill yourself with your hobby? It's more like an obsession, Hide. I'm done with this and so are you. Enroll yourself back into school, or go look for something else to do.” 

 

He was harsh, he knew he was. But it needed to be said. Though the look of hurt and agony on Hide's face tore a whole in Kaneki's heart that the ghoul had trouble mending. It almost looked as if he wanted to cry. Kaneki couldn't blame him though. Hide's entire youth consisted of him playing detective, and it was something he lived for. 

 

Literally. 

 

“Hide, I'm sorry,” Kaneki lowered his tone this time, and sat back down on the bed. Gently, he pulled his boyfriend into a hug, and planted a kiss on top of his head, “It's just that...I can't lose you, not when it's so easy to keep you safe.” 

 

Hide sighed, and Kaneki could tell by his tone, that he was holding back tears, “I'm not a kid Kaneki. I've been able to keep myself alive for this long. And plus, I even managed to get a tracking device on Jason without being-”   
  
“You planted a device on Jason!?”  


“We can talk about that another time,” Hide changed the subject quickly, “What I mean is that....I'm really careful with what I do.”   
  
“There's always a first for everything,” Kaneki whispered in Hide's ear, “I know that more than anything.” He thought of Rize's Kagune tearing into his flesh, he remembered waking up in the hospital room, feeling more alive than ever (but more dead too). 

After kissing Hide on the ear, and next on the cheek, Kaneki left the blond in the bed, and stood for the last time. 

 

Honey eyes look at him sadly, and they sparkled to the brim with tears, “So you're taking away the things I like? I guess I’m used to it already, you did it after you got turned into a ghoul.” 

 

Because Hide was referring to Kaneki's six month long absence, and the distance he'd put in between them even before that, the half ghoul felt like shit for what he was doing. He hated making Hide suffer like this, he hated it. 

 

“It’s for your own good, Hide,” Kaneki spoke as calmly as he could. 

 

“So when you leave again, how am I supposed to find you?” Hide asked from behind him. 

 

Kaneki said nothing, only walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him. It took everything he had to keep himself together. But not even five seconds after he shut the door, did he find himself sliding down the wall, and collapsing in a mess of silent sobs. 

 

Black finger nails tore their way through his white hair until they found a reasonable patch of it, and pulled. The ghoul panted as he cried. He drunk in large gulps of air in an attempt to calm himself, he even tried counting, but none of his coping skills helped him. 

 

_He hates you! What have you done? You're such an idiot! You're such a bad friend! He was better off without you!_

 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...” 

 

How the hell was he supposed to keep Hide under control if he couldn't even do the same for himself? He as so unstable, and so broken. Could he even protect Hide, was he even good for Hide? 

_He deserves better than you!_

 

“I know he does,” Kaneki hissed at himself, “I'm sorry....I’m sorry...I’m sorry....”

 

Kaneki was too driven into his own regret and self loathing that he hadn't noticed the door beside him creak open slowly, revealing a tired, pale, lengthy blond that practically molded himself into the frame in an attempt to stand straight. He was struggling to stay up, but it was worth the exhaustion.

 

Hide sighed, unable to remain angry at Kaneki, who was practically breaking into pieces below him.

 

“It's okay man,” Hide knelt down slowly, and pulled his boyfriend into a hug, “I'm still as pissed as hell, but I know you're only looking out for me.”

 

Kaneki couldn't hear him, he was too far away.

 

But Hide didn't care at the moment. He felt like an asshole for being the cause of this, but still blamed Kaneki just a bit for overreacting.

 

As the ghoul whispered incoherent words under his breath, Hide hugged him tighter.

 

Kaneki needed just as much help as he did, but he was too much of an idiot to notice it. Hide wondered if there were any ghoul therapy offices, or if there was any sort of psychologist outside of the CCG who specialized with ghoulish brain chemistry.

 

Maybe he could make a compromise with his boyfriend.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting because I wanted it to be a one shot, not a multichapter story. Did you enjoy it? I hope you did. I can aways see Kaneki being the one to want to save Hide, but he's so messed up himself that i'm sure he cracks. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: I'll be posting this on the bottom of all of my updates, but I write poetry. I write poetry for LGBT, religion, feminism, equality, depression, mental illness, sexual abuse, death, etc. i've been requested to do a lot of them, and some of them I write on my own. But i'm not writing them for myself, i'm writing them for people who're suffering from the things I write about. I've been told that they help people cope, that they help people get through tough times, etc., Feel free to go read them, and feel free to request them. If you don't want your name being posted, that's find, just email me if you feel like it. Here's my Deviant Art Page: 
> 
> lidsworth.deviantart.com 
> 
> email adress: lidsworth@yahoo.com 
> 
> my poetry helps people of all genders, races, orientations, etc, so please do stop by, and request. Please, if you really need it, don't hesitate. 
> 
> Have a wonderful week, and God bless!


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